B4: Broadway

The first musical I'd ever gone to was a Straz Center production of Cats, which my sister wanted to watch for her birthday. While I don't consider Cats the most amazing musical now, its memory remained with me for a long time.

My first Broadway musical, in New York itself, took place in a tiny theatre of a few hundred people. I saw Chicago, a musical I'd wanted to see for a while, and again its memory stuck with me more strongly than any movie I'd seen in theaters. I became enamored with Broadway and the theatre experience, although I have little interest in acting or performance.

Broadway musicals bring to my mind the words of Dr. Jordan Peterson: "One of the things that struck me as near miraculous about music, especially in a rather nihilistic and atheistic society, is that it really does fill the void which was left by the death of God. And it's because you cannot rationally critique music. It speaks to you, it speaks of meaning, and no matter what you say about it, no matter how cynical you are, you cannot put a crowbar underneath that and toss it aside."

This quote speaks to me on many levels. The first time I saw Phantom of the Opera, a musical whose music I'd been listening to all my life, I immediately began weeping before a character even stepped on stage. The opening organ, which reverberated powerfully throughout the theatre, brought back all my memories of my grandfather blasting it through the house because he loved it so much, my friends crowding around the television to watch the movie adaptation, and above those, the tragedy and depth of the eponymous Phantom's character. 

Music and performance is rooted in the core of humanity's soul, where words are meaningless. Each rhythm bears a weight and meaning, offered freely to all who listen. I find this a more precious cultural commodity than any amount of social media vanity.

X2: ASCII

When I was a kid, my dad introduced me to the game Dwarf Fortress, which features ASCII as its main source of graphics. To some, this art direction may seem overly simple and opaque, difficult to navigate through when all of your dwarves are simple smiley faces.

In this image, we can see a lovely barn or stables in the middle of a field. A bridge crosses a coursing river just beside it. Through ASCII, this scene is relayed to the player, and each individual letter corresponds to a very specific component of the game, such as trees, bushes, downward slopes, walls, and solid rock.

To new players, this game seems very difficult, featuring many symbols to adjust to. ASCII used in this way is not intuitive, as modern graphics are. A cow is represented by a "c", a dwarf is a smiley face, and water takes the form of a blue tilde. These graphics are almost necessary, however, in order to allow for the random generation of each new world. This can be reflected in the game Minecraft, which perhaps took some inspiration from Dwarf Fortress.

The ASCII art, to me, represents one of the core philosophies of Dwarf Fortress and its fanbase: playing it well is an earned privilege. Not only is it difficult to adjust to the graphics, but the gameplay itself is a nightmare of sprawling menus and text, with no real explanation as to what anything does.

Despite all of these challenges, Dwarf Fortress has cultivated what I would consider to be one of the most creative and welcoming fanbases I've ever seen. From such a simple game with barebones graphics, the player is forced to create each location in their own mind, which in my opinion easily trumps the designs and concepts of any game developer.

One True Law

I encountered many troubles through the course of this project, most obviously what to actually make it about. I wanted to create a video that spoke to me on a personal level, which in my opinion will often speak to many others more truthfully than any amount of guesswork I can muster up.

In our current cultural climate, feelings seem to reign supreme, over even basic components of modern society such as truth and freedom of speech. I feel frustrated, stifled in the most extreme of circumstances, with what I view to be a coddling of our youth against the harshness of reality.

So, my frustrations were poured into this video, as a small slice of what I feel. Twenty thousand years ago, humanity struggled just as these animals struggle: against predators, the harshness of the elements, and the suddenness of death from all sides. I feel the significance of our place in the world has been lost in the sea of political rhetoric and absolute comfort. People view minor inconveniences as major transgressions, and see the modern West as an unforgiving hellscape, despite never having to forage for their own food or fight off predators.

Even our most basic biological functions are seen as transgressions. Eating meat in any context is evil, and most especially hunting for one's meat, as if such animals as boars and deer would live perfectly comfortable, full lives were they freed from the quick shot of a hunter's rifle.

I wanted to juxtapose the hypocrisy of anti-hunting advocates with the reality of life in the wild. I wanted to prove to these people the One True Law of nature: death. This isn't some cynical worldview by any stretch. I love nature for its ferocity and its beauty, not just the nature which is cultivated as purely welcoming, free of suffering, neutered and humanized in ways which only disrespect it.

Humans are certainly the kindest of all predators the Earth has ever seen. Other apex predators care none for the fear, suffering, or dignity of their prey. As seen in the clip of the gentleman hunting a boar, the animal is shot in the head and killed instantly, as opposed to the many instances of predators chucking their prey from heights, bleeding them out after a vicious mauling, and even chasing them just as they'd given birth, to soon devour the newborn. This is the nature I know: vicious, beautiful, and ours to experience as the apex predators we are lucky enough to be.

Music: Five Artists

Virtual: Studio Killers, Jenny    

 The band Studio Killers is a virtual band, led by the character Cherry, who is in fact voiced by a man with his voice pitched up. Her bandmates include an anthropomorphic ferret DJ and fox keyboardist, and their videos focus on Cherry's fictional life as a partygoer. Their music is a mix of energetic club music and alternative pop, as evidenced in the above video.

Electronic: Jase from Outta Space, Do What You Want (Infusion Remix)

This song is near and dear to my heart, and fits the category of Electronic perfectly. It focuses on a heavy backbeat and repetitious lyrics, with elements of the song coming and going in surging pulses depending upon the phase of the song. Interestingly, as with most electronic music, this is a remix of an already-existing song. I see this as a natural evolution of techno music, as sampling and re-sampling lyrics and rhythms from a song can produce any number of new effects, as can also be seen in pop, hip-hop, and house music.

Punk: The Bravery, Hatefuck

One of the deepest values of punk can be summed up in a fairly short sentence: "Give no fucks, party hard." This philosophy extends to a disdain for authority, social norms, and the expectations of decency in typical civilized society. This song, in its aggressiveness, exemplifies this culture as it describes perhaps a brutal, mutually sadomasochistic relationship between the singer and his partner.

Dubstep: Lady Gaga, Government Hooker (Roman Stone Remix)

I wanted to make a fairly deep cut into dubstep, and just as with Techno, it favors remixes and sound sampling, aided by their many soundboards. In fact, it could be said that dubstep was founded on the idea of sound sampling being used as a form of music in itself, most notably in some of Skrillex's work. Dubstep remains one of the most well-known alternative electronic genres, and is almost expected in most clubs.

New Wave: The Smiths, I Know It's Over

A more somber song than the others, it reflects the rise of New Wave and its less frenzied need for harsh electronic beats and synthesizers. As the song continues, it swells into a roaring chorus, elements overlapping each other as if the singer just cannot express the depth of his feelings through the music itself, which strains against the weight of it. The more mellow backbeat complements the other New Wave picks.

Performance Art Video

Performance Art: Gun Control

I agonized for a long time over this project. I hate making myself known in any public space, and so the idea of having to put myself out there and talk to strangers terrified me. However, I found that I'm much more comfortable when judged objectively, and so I decided to base my performance art around our political climate today--more specifically, gun control.

It's been hotly debated on all sides, and so I threw my hat--and the sign on my hat--into the ring to fuel the flames. Due to my personal beliefs, and knowing they may be unpopular to the rest of the campus, I hoped to attract some interesting, perhaps explosive responses--yet all I'd attracted was genuine discussion, friendliness, and even a thumbs-up from a Campus Safety officer!

I quickly learned that no one would approach my table unprompted. So, to the horror of most passers-by, I began calling to them, asking them if they'd like to help me with a school project. About half refused, though the other half spoke. Most notably, the people who scowled at me from across the hallway, clearly agitated by my message, refused to defend their stance by speaking with me. 

I was very careful to frame my intentions as simply conducting a school project, to help relax people and coax them into seeing me as a neutral party. I believe I could get their opinions more naturally that way, and challenge those opinions without making them feel like they'd just stepped into a high-stakes political debate.

I spent about an hour and a half at my table, and overall I believe it was a rousing success! While at first I hated the idea of this project, I think it's awakened a little bit of a showman in me. Perhaps I could continue to make videos similar to this, if only to talk with people about topics I'm interested in, and engage them on a level beyond just typical two-party animosity.

Xerox Project: Jaw Against the Earth

"This is one token of [Tyr's] daring: when the Æsir enticed Fenris-Wolf to take upon him the fetter Gleipnir, the wolf did not believe them, that they would loose him, until they laid Týr's hand into his mouth as a pledge. But when the Æsir would not loose him, then he bit off the hand at the place now called 'the wolf's joint;' and Týr is one-handed..."
- Snorri Sturlson, GYLFAGINNING

I had little inspiration for my Xerox project at first, thinking to just make some vague shapes from my hands, arms and hair and hope it'd be considered "artsy" enough.

However, as I sat at the scanner and thought, my mind turned to one of my favorite mythical tales, that of Fenrir, the great Wolf which will swallow Odin and most of the world in Ragnarok.

Before this, however, Fenrir had to be trapped by a godly fetter--essentially a mystical band of metal to contain him. At first, the gods tried to force him into a worldly cage, but every time he escaped. Finally, the gods crafted a new shackle, but knew they couldn't capture Fenrir traditionally. They made a wager with the proud wolf that he couldn't break through their mystical fetter, and Fenrir took them up on that bet, but distrusted that they'd release him if he failed to break it. Therefore, Tyr put his hand in the wolf's mouth, knowing it would likely be lost, for the sake of containing the dangerous Fenrir.

In this project, then, is the conflict of that tale: Tyr's self-sacrifice and nobility, coupled with Fenrir's unbridled ferocity, the rage of a bound animal. To me, that's deeply compelling.

Grid Art: Trees and Moon

Trees and Moon

     For my grid art, I wanted to put together something to relax me. I love pine trees and the nighttime, so I painted several sheets of heavy paper in different deep shades, then tore them up and pieced it all back together like a puzzle. I tried to vary between two different subtle shades of green to differentiate the trees, but I feel that perhaps I wasn't bold enough with the difference. 

      Likewise, I wanted the ground to be a dark shade of purple: adding more green to the image might overwhelm it, and besides most shades turn cooler at night. If I could change anything about my grid art, I would probably make the trees different shades of blue, to reflect nighttime.

A STIRRING LEGACY: The Journey of the Modern Vibrator

Throughout the ages, humankind has flourished through the tenets of all civilization: that of peaceful cohabitation, unified social groups, and intimate connections the likes of which can rarely be found in any other species. Cities have been built and burned on the backs of such intimacy, swelling in number through childbearing and families.


Of course, for every child conceived, there are ten unions to a different end: pleasure. The dopamine rush every human experiences from more intimate activities is not to be underestimated: some will chase such a rush without discretion, shaping their lives around it. We will follow their journey through history, and perhaps marvel at the future which lay ahead.


30,000 YEARS AGO


A cave in Germany hid the broken remains of what may be one of the oldest sex toys on Earth. It is a stone phallus, polished smooth and painstakingly carved to be ribbed at the business end. It was found in fragments, presumably discarded once it had broken, disproving the possibility that it may have simply been a firestarting tool.


THE EPIPHANY


Hysteria! It was sweeping across Victorian society like a dark plague, filling women with anxiety, fatigue, rebelliousness, depression....basically any behavior other than absolute submission to their husbands and family. The horror!


In such an age, the only cure to hysteria, however temporary, was for doctors to administer upon these women a “hysterical paroxysm”--an orgasm--by way of “pelvic massage”. A woman, avoiding a trip to the asylum, would instead visit her doctor in times of such hysteria and experience her “paroxysm”, at which point she would be cured until the next time she felt her womanly insanity rearing its ugly head.


Pelvic massage became the cure to nearly any stress a woman could experience, so long as her behaviours annoyed her husband enough for him to label her as unwell. As each procedure was difficult to learn, and achieving paroxysm could take up to an hour, doctors began wishing for an easier, more effective method. Enter: The Manipulator, invented by Doctor George Taylor!


The massive, steam-powered device came about in 1969, and while it wasn’t the first vibrator invented by a doctor, it was truly something to behold. The patient would sit atop a table-sized surface outfitted with a vibrating sphere, while in another room the doctor would shovel coal into the furnace which powered it.


Sadly, while the Manipulator was a marvel of engineering, it was unwieldy and expensive. Then came about more personal, household remedies for hysteria, such as the “Horse Action Saddle” pictured above. The vibrator became the fifth most popular electrical appliance in households, alongside toasters, sewing machines and fans. Truly, housewives controlled much of the shopping of the era.


Nowadays, vibrators are rather common, though occupy perhaps a more shameful, secret side of life, alongside most topics of sex and intimacy. In the future, and as is already taking place, sexual liberation and free expression is growing in popularity, as America sheds its Puritan roots and experiments with why, and how, our societal identity has perhaps stifled us.


While the vibrator seems a silly, shallow product, its history spans a near-perfect timeline of the stifling of female emotions throughout history, even to the point of considering their orgasms some mystical, medical phenomenon separate from the experiences of men. It paints a much deeper, more nuanced image of the “stuffy Victorian woman”, and perhaps changes what we’ve all assumed about the past.


Sources

1. Amos, Jonathan. “Science/Nature | Ancient Phallus Unearthed in Cave.” BBC News, BBC, 25 July 2005, news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4713323.stm. 
2. “World’s Oldest Sex Toy, a Stone Dildo, Also Used by a Jealous Caveman to Start Fires.” Creative Loafing: Tampa Bay, www.cltampa.com/news-views/sex-love/article/20734292/worlds-oldest-sex-toy-a-stone-dildo-also-used-by-a-jealous-caveman-to-start-fires. 
3. Stern, Marlow. “'Hysteria' and the Long, Strange History of the Vibrator.” The Daily Beast, The Daily Beast Company, 27 Apr. 2012, www.thedailybeast.com/hysteria-and-the-long-strange-history-of-the-vibrator. 

Stopmotion Animation

I found this project not particularly challenging, and in fact enjoyed it most of the time. My theme centered around a simple little animation of a druid appearing from a portal, summoning a magical creature, and receiving a little kiss from it. It felt relaxing to draw so slowly and repetitiously, painstakingly crafting each page with subtle tweaks between.

Dido and Aeneas: A Greek Tragedy on the English Stage

Mise en Scene

I feel lucky to have picked this opera, despite knowing so little about it, and was pleased to discover a small, albeit faithful, adaptation of the opera from a cast of students at the Ruth Asawa San Francisco School of the Arts. I could sense the reverence in each of the performers, and was impressed by the production quality.


The opera begins with a white stage filled with performers, many of whom serve as the background chorus, in traditional Greek fashion. The chorus adds much-needed life to an otherwise minimalist set, as between their singing parts they freeze atop small pedestals, as if statues lining the halls of the queen Dido's palace.


In the very center, looming over the stage in the background, sits a woman in a chair, pretending to be a statue. In the second act, the statue comes alive and sings, detailing the dark deeds there to come at the hands of the sorceresses and imps of the forest, seeking to sabotage the eponymous couple's wedding.


Overall, I believe the set and costumes served their purpose well, and while it lacked the complicated pulleys and set changes seen in larger operas, the clever use of living props makes up for it.


In Times Past


Historically, this opera was performed at the Josais Priest's girl's school in the 1680s, in London. Throughout its lifetime, the opera is most prominently performed by students in front of a smaller audience. I believe this can be attributed to the small cast (only about four named characters) and the simplicity of the piece, with only three or four scene changes total.


This doesn't diminish the piece, certainly; its small scale allows for greater intimacy, as Dido's turmoil isn't overshadowed by the spectacles on the stage. The Greek plays it mimics sometimes lacked any set at all, only a chorus and the actors, further reinforcing the theme.


Its arrival in America echoed its arrival in London: performed by the girls of Rosemary School in New York in 1923. An interest in baroque music had been reawakened at the time, and it was well-received. From then on, it was produced more often across America, and remains a common choice for school productions and adaptations.


In the 21st Century


As I watched the opera, I tried to strip away its overall theme and reorganize it into its basic components, to better turn it into a video game. It centers around Dido and Aeneas's engagement, and subsequent downfall by the machinations of the sorceress and her servant—so what if I adapted it into some sort of parallel-plot adventure game?


This would serve as a heavy divergence from the source material, but I find the setting rather interesting, and would prefer more context as to why the malicious creatures exist in the wilderness of Dido's territory. Therefore, Dido's tale would begin with how exactly she encountered Aeneas and why she cares so much for him. The player could experience the narrative from her eyes, including especially the exciting encounter with the magical creatures in the glade.


Aeneas's side of things, meanwhile, would focus on his position as a Trojan, how he is tricked, and his venture through Dido's territory and his own personal turmoil. This would invite the player to feel a greater connection to the characters, and understand the story in deeper fashion than simply through the opera.

Combination

For my combination piece, I thought long and hard on just what sort of creation I could come up with. I knew I wanted to do something funny--to me at least--and thus the Crab Dildo was born: the dildo made of tiny, live crabs. God wishes he didn't know how they all stay together in such a formation.

I wanted to do some kind of dildo made out of some kind of uncomfortable material; I wanted perhaps one of the last things one could possibly want to stick inside themselves. A cactus came to mind, but that's too cliche in my mind. Everyone thinks of cactus! I had to search elsewhere. I deconstructed: what about a cactus makes it dangerous and painful? The needles! Perhaps a bundle of needles would do the trick, yet shaping them into a recognizably phallic shape proved difficult. I wanted texture and depth, something such thin, rigid needles couldn't give me.

Crabs! Of course! I like to think of this epiphany as one part visual pun, one part total silliness. If tiny stabbing things couldn't give me what I wanted, then surely tiny, wriggling, pinching things would inspire all nearby orifices to clench in fear. I hope this thought is illustrated well.

Madama Butterfly; Pjotr Sapegin

I struggled with watching Sapegin's animation. Chiefly, I find it hard to connect with stop motion animation; it unsettles me. Yet in a way, perhaps the disquiet of the tale is well-reflected in the medium, and it takes on an entirely new lifeforce in the climax, after the eponymous Madama loses her child and literally tears herself apart in grief.

While some scenes made me cringe and avert my eyes, such as the awkward and perhaps satirical love scene between two sexless dolls, the final minute set the animation apart in my mind, and presented an image I still think about in quieter moments: the calmness with which the Madama sheds her dress and skin, unscrews each joint and sets it aside, so deeply methodical, as if it's the only logical step in her tale.

When nearly nothing remains of her, she lays back and never moves again. Something about that haunts me more deeply than if she'd just flung herself from the studio table and shattered into pieces. It makes me think of a broken woman, too trapped by society to end herself quickly, so she strips herself down through the years until she's taken by either the burden of time or the consequences of her fall. Haunting.

Living Smart: Sparking Creativity

After watching Dr. Raul Cuero's interview, I felt inspired by his anecdotes on his childhood and the struggles therein. I couldn't imagine how it must feel to be raised by parents who can't write or read, and yet manage to grow into such a highly respected scientist in the international community. Losing family to such simple things as tetanus is unimaginable, and while I felt inspired, I also felt overwhelmed.

I've never suffered much in my daily life. Perhaps one of the deepest sources of Dr. Cuero's creativity lies not just in his brilliant mind, his ambition and the intensity of his focus, but the suffering around him. When there's so little else but pain and squalor around you, where else could your mind go except to the relief of better, brighter things?

Hello There!

Hi! I'm so happy you could find my blog. My name is Helen, and I'm a Sophomore at the University of Tampa. My current major is Advertising & Public Relations, but I plan to change it to either New Media Production or Graphic Design. I love creating things, both through words and with my own hands, and consider my creativity my most valued trait. As such, I'm very excited for Art and Technology, and look forward to all the unique ways it will challenge me and push my boundaries both as a creator and a student.

As someone easily driven to obsession, I have a lot of hobbies. Of the more esoteric are my loves of leatherworking, juggling, medieval armor and woodcarving. My roommate, luckily, hasn't yet discovered my box of rabbit pelts and tanned leather pieces, though I may have brought out my juggling balls in her presence once or twice now.

More traditionally, I love music, hiking, canoeing, drawing, sculpting, creative writing, video games, comics, and cartoons. I love to admire other's works of art and try to deconstruct them, reverse-engineer their process for reference in my own pieces. Among my most prized possessions is a signed figure sketch by the artist Tommy Castillo, whom I met when I was twelve at a small convention my parents took me to.

I remember showing him one of my drawings, and the first thing he told me was to stop drawing so stylized like I was and go to the basics: the figure, mastering anatomy. I tore out a page in my cheap sketchbook and watched as he effortlessly drew a figure for me: just a series of boxes and shapes, yet given life with such subtle lines. I asked him for an autograph and he cracked a joke that he'd given me plenty already, but signed the corner anyway. I left his booth, figure pressed in my sketchbook for safekeeping, and drew almost nothing but anatomy and figure sketches for the next eight years.